Death to Death

Wide eyed, grinning in to darkened room,

Sipping cactus brandy from a china spoon,

Coming in the morning in the afternoon, forgetting.

So tired waiting for the end to come,

Fully dead already but forever young,

Hello, my dearest father it's your favorite son,

There's somethings that I'm regretting.

I am destroyer, I am lover,

I am destroyer, I am lover.

I love one thing, destroy the other.

I am destroyer, I am lover.

A gypsy told my fortune then I told her hers,

I said "you'll die high in the mountains wrapped in silver furs.

You'll be looking for your lover in the midnight sun and you'll perish for your lover;

When the frost has begun."

I have a way of seeing and it's nearly gone,

And nobody was listening so I wrote this song.

And when you know the chorus, you can sing along,

you destroy the thing you love, even though you know it's wrong.

I am destroyer, I am lover.

I am destroyer, I am lover.

why love one thing and not the other?

I am destroyer, I am lover,

and when I kiss, I like to smother...

Internships!

"Liking your own statuses is as vain as reading your own blog."

I am aware that the quote has not much in relation to the contents of this post, but who doesn't like laughing at their own vanity?

So, Shafina is on the verge of ending the a-level portion of this journey we call "life". SINCE, she did absolute SHIT on her AS she decided to re-do the worst subject she performed in. She still however takes comfort in the fact that a D in a levels still lands you a spot in most universities. YEAY! Insanely high standards of A-levels!

Okay, back to the point since I'll probably have about 2-3 months before having to go enter the other even more less diluted version of "the real world". I thought "Hey! Why not go out and experience the real world by going for an internship to another country and get some kind of professional working experience."

Well, it can't be any worse than me just hanging out at home goyang kaki right? Imagine, having your own pick of living in any one of 110 countries for 6-8 weeks. *sigh* Thank God! The parents gave me a thumbs up! YEAY!

Now, to think a few months from now I could be absolutely anywhere, doing absolutely anything. Not THAT is mui bueno.

"Best friend" you're still an absolute fucking bitch.

The Shit Has Hit The Fan

'It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company.'

So, long story short. I think I've just permanently ended my "friendship" with "The best friend" and possibly "The Moon". And At this moment I feel nothing but relief and disappointment. Relief be cause I've finally burnt that bridge and disappointment due to the amount of time wasted on them.

"The best friend" has been on thin ice since I've started to realize as to how she treats me like shit for most of the time. Bailing out on me when we have plans, ignoring me when we meet up with any of her friends, stealing my clothes (and lending it out to other people without a second thought), consistently making it out to be like she is the ultimate innocent party in any given situation, and mostly consistently undermining me as well as constant underlying insults with every comment she has about my appearance. With a friend like that, who needs enemies eh? What kind of person goes and hangs out with the guy that has molested her own best friend? Honestly? Being the neutral party is fine, but know where the line stretches. GOD!

And for "The Moon" I've always considered her to be the one friend I can really depend on. That is until she told me that she's been avoiding me because of my boyfriend and the "new habits" in which I have picked up.

1. Who avoids their friends just because of their boyfriend?
2. The "new habits" pick up by me are nothing that she has not or does not do. Can we say hypocrite?

How did all of this come about? The short version of it is that "the best friend" sent a text that was for "the Moon" to me. The text was about me, and apparently how I'm getting on her nerves with my "tony-crazyness". When I tell her to fuck herself she gets defensive, then she starts bargaining and then she starts to make it sound like "Oh I just want the best for you". Her typical trying to get people back on her side bullshit. And to all of that I just have to say:

You really need to come up with some new material man.